Friday, October 28, 2011

Leykis 101 Rules

Leykis 101 Rules 1. Spend no more than 40 dollars on a date. * You worked hard for it and you should keep it. Spending more won't get you laid anyway. Optimally you should set up an after dinner date for cocktails. 2. Never date single mothers. * You already know her stance on abortion, she won’t have one. Don’t risk paying vaginamoney. Plus her kids will always be #1 in her life and you will always be in the back burner. Why would you want to be in second place to some spoiled brat. They already made a mistake once, twice or more. Note: Child support if for 18 years boys! 3. 3 dates and no poon....?....you are outta there. * If you haven't got laid by the 3rd date you are travling down the "friends" road and she is just sponging off you. (Leykis' 3 date rule is for guys who ONLY want sex - they don't WANT a relationship. If you're looking for a relationship, then that rule doesn't apply). 4. Leave if a chick if she answers her cell phone during a date. * Most likely she has set up the bogus emergency call to get out of the date early because she's not going to bang or, she just talked to the bad boy that will bang her after you just bought the meal. If she answers the phone and you get that vibe, excuse yourself to the restroom and leave her there. 5. No coffee dates, no lunch dates. * These are non-humping dates. You want alcohol involved. 6. There should be as little time as possible from drinking to banging. Don't detour to Denny's for breakfast or anything like that. She'll sober up and she won't want to bang. 7. Thursday-Saturday is offlimits for a girl unless its definite poon. This time is spent hanging out with your friends and having a good time. 8. Never answer your phone during the weekend. * You want women to believe you are too busy out doing stuff. 9. Do not have a serious relationship until you have realized your personal dreams. * Women are dream killers and will suck the life out of what you always wanted to do. 10. (For beginers) To get it done, Leykis says start with chunky chicks who are experienced or older women. * Older women will love a young guy hitting on them and will show them the ropes. Remember: To play in the game, you have to warm up in the bullpen. This method gives you lots of room for player mistakes. 11. Never bang any chick from work. * Unless you want to be fired. Yea, lots of people have met at work and it worked out for them but, there are also lots of sexual harassment suits ahppening and you don't want to be one of them. 12. YOU ARE PROUD TO BE AN ASSHOLE...wear it like a badge. * Tons of women seem to respect guys that act like jerks. If it's not true why are they alway running after "Bad Boys"? 13. USE A CONDOM DURING EVERY ENCOUNTER. NO EXCEPTIONS! * You don't want the crap she brought home and you don't want to pay child support for 18 years right? NOTE: When your done get rid of the condom good....some chicks are just crazy enough to remove the contents. 14. From Tom himself: The best chicks are the ones who aren't totally americanized. Those girls are pretty much faithful, are hot, good in bed, and will treat you well. 15. Try the best you can to make sure you don't bring a chick back to your place to bang. * You don't want a girl who knows where you lived after you dumped her and gone to the next girl. 16. Your income will reflect the quality of poon you get. Strive high, don't settle, stay hungry. Girls upgrade all the time, and guys should be able to also. 17. Do not leave voicemails. *Your number will show up on her caller ID and that will be enough to get her interest in many cases. 18. Show any way possible that you don't need her. Make her feel like she matters, but she is easily replaceable. 18. NEVER call a bitch twice in the same week. * This was in the movie Swingers, and Tom's played it before. 19. Don't discuss that you are a Leykis listener and follow his rules. * Many women think Tom is a pig and won't bang just because. 20. Christmas, New Year's eve and Day, Valentine's Day, Thanksgiving, her birthday or yours, these are days that are off limits. You do not make plans with chicks you are dating on these days. 21. If you have a dinner date, eat a hearty meal before taking her out. * Tell the waiter that you'll just have a salad. Tell your date your eating healthy. What girl is going to eat more than you? 22. Never do what you don’t want to do. *You make the money, you decide on what you want to do and where you want to do it. 23. Don’t ask a woman what she wants. Women never know what they want. * You're driving this ship. 24. No Spooning, No cuddling, No staying over. Get in and get out! 25. Don’t speak to women you work with unless it is work related. Don’t tell them they look nice, don’t comment on anything except on what work needs to be done. Your conversation should be limited to Good morning and goodnight with exception of the occasional good afternoon. Saying anything more may and most likely will lead up to a lawsuit. 26 Men don’t dance! * The only exception is if you are Gay or Latino. 27. Never compliment a woman. Never. * It raises her self esteem and she will look down on you. It will actually decrease your chances of getting pussy. Of mention: Hold off on marriage as long as possible. There is no benefit for a man getting married. * Proof- your husbandly responsibilties include but not limited to the following 1. pay for rent or mortgage(full or portion of the house will be hers in case of divorce) 2. pay for her credit card bills 3. pay for her medical bills 4. pay for her dental bills 5. pay for the gas she puts in her car 6. pay for her car 7. pay for her car repairs 8. pay for childbirth 9. pay for childs clothes. 10. pay for her groceries 11. pay for her shoes 12. pay for her clothes 13. pay for furniture 14. pay phone bill, gas bill, electric bill, water bill 14. pay for her traffic citations 15. pay for gifts she buys for her own family 17. pay for her school loans 18. pay for girlie things like new carpet, designer minibilinds, wall paper, new paint, plants, decorations etc...... A woman's wifely responsibities on the other hand require an almost infinitely less expenditure of blood and sweat- suck and fuck the husband and be nice. A man's ordeal doesn't end there, the load only gets greater. Once a husband makes more money and fulfills all of the above and thinks he can relax a bit the wife will add more load on which the husband must deliver. Examples are: moving into a larger more expensive house, buying another expensive car, having more children, shopping more frequently, picking up expensive habits (eating out, expensive vacations, visits to the salon, cosmetic surgery etc). In other words most husbands will be chained to the office until death. It doesn't end there. Women today are vastly different from their 1950's counterparts. Most wives of 50 yrs ago expected little from a husband- just have a decent job and fuck me and most stayed in the marriage for better or worse. Today's female is a totally different breed of cat. Look at divorce rates. Now if the husband and/or wife decides to divorce the husband will PAY. After divorce court all the husband will own are his shrivelled balls and a ton of bills and bad credit while the wife will enjoy the house, cars, children, and a pound of the husbands flesh and blood every month(alimony & child support payments). Now the husband will never get laid. What woman will fuck a broken down loser with a lifetime of alimony payments. Remember, none of you guys are special and divorce can and will happen to any of us.

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