over 35 CL rant awesome comedy

If you are over 35
Reply to:pers-cxz2f-1183015001@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-05-21, 8:08PM PDT


I will not even give you the time of day. I get so tired of you old trolls checking me out wherever I go. Sit there like a nasty dog with your tongue hanging drooling and wishing you could have a hottie like me, but you know what? You are much too old, too fat, too bald, and you guys just gross me out. I bet you can't remember the last itme you had a 19 yo. I walked into Starbucks today and there you were, actually 3 of you just staring, hoping, wishing, salivating like the disgustin dogs you are.

It's no wonder LA girls get a little jaded. Too many nasty guys, out of shape, old, broke but want something young and pretty. Don't bother staring because you aint going to get any!!





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Re: If you are over 35 (LA)
Reply to:pers-mdxcs-1183869145@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-05-22, 11:05AM PDT


Hmmmm. Well, I'm a white professional guy, late 40s. Reasonably in shape, reasonably good lucking, but I'm old enough to know I'm no Adonis. But I'm financially stable, have a good sense of humor, no addictions, no restraining orders, etc. I've been divorced for ten years and loving the single life since then. When I lived in Denver I dated women my age, because I'm not foolish enough to think a young "hottie" would be interested in me there. Then I moved to LA five years ago, and whoa! Women in their early 30s were/are constantly throwing themselves at me. Which has been fun, but, to me, very strange. I asked an LA friend of mine what was going on. He explained to me that LA women all think they are super hot, and spend their 20s turning up their noses at every good guy who comes their way. They always assume they can "do better". Then they wake up one morning, find themselves to be age 34, they notice the first lines/wrinkles/sags around their eyes - then they FREAK FUCKING OUT. They begin to panic, realizing that, in the LA dating ecosystem, they can't compete with the 18 year olds flooding the market. They become desperate to find a man - almost any man. The pendulum swings in the opposite direction.

My friend pointed out that because I was white, single, with a job a car and no warrants, and not secretly gay, I needed no other qualifications to find a younger woman in LA. That's all they were looking for at this point.

So I have to tip my hat to all the stuck-up young "hotties" out there who are turning down every good, sweet guy who crosses their path. You'll be dating guys like me in seven or eight years, so get ready!